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Chin’s Men’s Guide to People-Watching
May 4, 2008People-watching is complicated. There are actually rules for this thing, especially if you’re male. I’ve figured out four, and they don’t even cover the tip of the iceberg. I’m sharing them with you, nonetheless, because I am generous like dut.
1. If a hottie passes by, it’s okay for you to look. After all, there’s a 95% chance I’m checking her out, too. However, you should never tell me, "she’s hot." This will make me simmer in envious rage. Wait for me to comment "She’s hot" and count up to ten before you make as if you reluctantly agree. There’s a world of difference between the two situations. The first makes me feel you’re ogling another girl because you find me wanting; the second tells me we share the same eye for beauty.
2. If an ugly girl passes by, it’s okay for you to look and comment any way you want. If you crack a joke at her expense, I will admonish you not to be unkind. I will also spend at least five minutes pointing out her redeeming features. "She probably has to send two sisters to college, and is thus too busy to care about her looks," I’d say, thereby making you feel bad for being shallow and insensitive. However, you should not let this hurt your feelings. This is how I am when I revel in my physical superiority.
3. If a girl is wearing the same outfit I am, there is no need to point this out to me. None. I am acutely aware of it; this is why I’m walking with extra oomph. We may be wearing the same clothes, but sweet camote cue, we do not walk around in the same body. It’s easy to see who wears it better, and you may tell me this ever so discreetly.
4. Never tell me you find a guy hot. That’s gayer than Banana Republic. It will be the end of our relationship - present and future. I love you, but only Jesus and Oprah offer unconditional love with a money-back guarantee.
Previous Comments
HAHAHA
FYI i love Banana Republic cos they’re the only one that has the REAL PETITE size over here hahaha
i don’t mind when my guy watches other women because i OGLE at hot men myself. what i really find amusing and sometimes irritating is when it’s so obvious that he is watching another woman and yet denies it!
Posted by iyay at May 24, 2008, 12:32 amAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
My one big blunder with people watching when with a female happened when my ex had been talking about getting a belly button piercing. A female with a (very nice) exposed midriff walked by and I found myself noticing she had a piercing which looked quite good on her. I considered whether or not to say anything for what seemed like an eternity and after what turned out to be about 30 seconds I ventured (tamely, I thought): “Her piercing looked good.”
“HA!” My ex pounced. “You were looking at her, why are you looking at other women?”
It took a day or two for me to live this down.
Posted by Mr Angry at May 5, 2008, 12:28 pm