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Cosmopolitan and the Beauty of Purchasing Power
April 25, 2008I read voraciously but I’ve always drawn the line at magazines and newspapers; the latter because it’s depressing and the former because I don’t need to take a ten-item quiz to know my spending habits or the kind of bra I’d make if I were to become a lingerie.
Thanks to my recent week-long house arrest, however, I’ve become a Cosmo convert. I mean, come on. How could you not like Cosmo? The girls populating Cosmo’s pages are gorgeous. They make me want to weep, and potentially become a lesbian. Then too, there are the clothes, and shoes, and bags, and all the shiny thingamajiggies you could hang on your ears, neck, and wrists. I’ve never paid attention to those fancy-schmanzy designers and their ridiculously overpriced items, but of late, I’m beginning to like – no, covet – monogrammed bags and fancily named moisturizers that promise to singlehandedly halt the natural aging process.
If I haven’t said this before, I’m saying it now. Marketing people are such geniuses! I wish I had been smart enough to hire one to make my resume. They make the frivolous sound necessary. Consider how easily they make one bag sound like gold: A wonderful blend of practicality and signature Louis Vuitton luxury, the ___________ is perfect for the chic chick who values beauty as much as functionality. Its roomy interior can easily house a Mac while its classic monogrammed canvas is accented with sleek golden hardware and sumptuous natural cowhide trim for an elegant finish.
Such romanticization makes me feel almost sad at being unable to buy an LV. I really, really should have hired a marketing person to write my resume. Given the right hype, my boss would have felt that by hiring me, he is paying for a vital way of life rather than paying one of the struggling masses.
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