I Need Drugs, Demmit!

I’m at home when I should be at work because I’ve asthma and skin asthma, and I have both because I’ve allergic rhinitis, and no one - not my gyno, not one of the three eents I’ve seen, not the hub, or the aunt I regularly run to for prescriptions and medical advice - will give me medication. 

You’re three months pregnant, said the bearded old goat who kept me and at least six other patients waiting for an hour. I need to err in the side of caution and not give you anything. 

No medication? No medication? I looked at him incredulously. Doc, I need medicines. Look at me! My sinuses are blocked. I sneeze and wheeze and tear up regularly, and now my eyes are swollen, and my face is all red from the itching. I’ve had allergic rhinitis since 2004; it always, always triggers my asthma and skin asthma.

Well, if you can get your obegyne to say yes, you can try Virlix. Virlix is no Nasonex, but it might help.  

I left the clinic much sicker than when I’d entered it. When I arrived, I had the certainty of a cure to look forward to. By the time I left, I was still the same kind of sick; but I was pissed, and frustrated, and close to tears, and all those made me feel a great deal worse.

Thankfully, my obegyne is a resourceful woman. She mulled over the problem and came up with a clever solution. I have asthma and skin asthma because my allergic rhinitis sets them off. I cannot take medication for them because my allergic rhinitis only responds to corticosteroid, an absolute no-no for moms-to-be. Because I couldn’t take medication, I couldn’t sleep or rest. As a result, my blood pressure plummeted, I’m back to being severely anemic, and contractions occur with greater frequency. Her solution? A relatively safe sleeping pill that can double as an antihistamine and house arrest until further notice. 

So now, I’m at home when I should be at work. The asthma, skin asthma, allergic rhinitis, and contractions notwithstanding, I’m a cheerier camper because I finally have drugs to knock me out when the sneezing, wheezing, itching, and cramping get too much.

If you know of any store that sells body parts, please, call me stat.