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Absence Makes the Heart Grow Needier
July 22, 2007"I won’t let you travel again without me," he blurted out as soon as he saw me in the airport. My trip to BKK has been the longest the hub and I have spent apart. From the moment I entered Mactan airport to the point where our plane winged its way towards Thailand, he anxiously kept Mariel, me, and Rose busy with his text messages and calls. He did not sleep until he was sure we made it safely into the Ranaras’ condo. By then, it was almost four in the morning.
"We need time away from each other."
He gripped my hand tightly. "No, we don’t. The time you spend at work is enough time away from each other."
He had lost six pounds in the five days I was away. I felt sorry for him. I know he missed me. The maid said he hasn’t been eating or sleeping well. Exorbitant roaming rates notwithstanding, he messaged me at least twice every hour while I was in BKK. Sorry or not, however, I was not going to relent to that high-handed decision. After all, what’s a week spent apart when we have the rest of our life to look forward to?
We’ve been together six years, and except for that Bkk trip, the longest we’ve been apart is less than 24 hours. A part of me recognizes its not healthy to spend all your time with one person, even if that person is your spouse. In the hierarchy of needs, the need to socialize is one that is just as important as food and home. Thus far, however, we have kept socializing to the barest minimum. He doesn’t go out with friends. I do, but very rarely. I wonder how other couples do it. Is there a prescribed length of time couples should spend away from each other? If so, what is it?
Someone should write a handbook on matters like these. Marriage, I now believe, is not as easy as pruning unnecessary adjectives off paragraphs.
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