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No, I Haven’t Found a Crack in Space and Time.
July 17, 2007I disappeared for weeks, but no, I didn’t hie off to a secret world where giraffes dance with spoons.
I went to BKK where I got hung upside down, wrong side out on a theme park ride called Hurricane. I kissed a farang in red boxers while he enjoyed a soak in his backyard. I dragged a sack up, down, left, and right of Prattunam because I could no longer lift all my shopping bags. I rode a tuktuk, the Thais’ more glamorous version of Tagbilaran’s motorilla. I learned to ask how much and say thank you in Thai. I prowled the red light district - several, in fact - and saw the gazillion ways a vagina could be turned into a means for livelihood. Getting poked by a penis doesn’t even count. I’m talking circus material here. Think three dozen needles strung on a thin rope and pulled ever so slowly out of a vagina, or a horn-toting vagina that blares out Happy Birthday or some other catchy Thai song. I saw the beautiful girls of Pattaya and the smelly foreigners who went there to get laid. I got kissed in the cheek by a male stripper. This was after he fucked a homosexual, mind you. I went catatonic and immediately felt like googling, "How is Aids transmitted?" I went to temples, too, and stood beside the reclining Buddha. Finally, and most importantly, I spent four amazing days with Rose and Paul, two teachers from my high school who are living large and wonderfully in the middle of BKK.
No, I did not find a crack in space and time. What I found, however, was something just as lovely. I found a city rife with possibilities, a city with sights, sounds, and color as vibrant and hypnotic as its lights. I found BKK, and I left it wishing I did not have to.
Oh BKK, I shall miss you. Please keep my footprints warm in your earth.
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